But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize