he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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