After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
