and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
