sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
