You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pants are for mortals
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
