there was a trapeze. enough said
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
