He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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