So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
