Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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