I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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