my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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