Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
