Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
