East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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