Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
