That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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