May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
