I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
