Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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