Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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