so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
