I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
