Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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