I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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