i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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