bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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