I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
