I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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