Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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