just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
