Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
