There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I'm really busy with my period
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