K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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