she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
