guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
