why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
