i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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