oh god the rape fog is back!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
