at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
