So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
