You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
