ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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