You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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