1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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