Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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