walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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