am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize