I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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