Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
