he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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