I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
