New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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