If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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