You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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