i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
