No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
