:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
